The Leadership Coaching Co

Why Leaders need a Coach

Reading my last post I'm struck by how difficult it can be to get clarity on an issue.

We can get so bogged down in the minutiae of life that it's easy to forget the big picture.  And until we can 'get' that big picture and the clarity that comes with it, it can be almost impossible to focus.

Of course I recognise this in myself, even if sometimes belatedly - but hey, whoever said coaches should be superhuman?  Just because we can recognise confused thinking in clients and can lead them to clarify their thoughts and feelings on particular issues, doesn't mean that we don't sometimes need outside help ourselves!

My breakthrough came when I was asked by a client turned mentor "what I was holding onto?"  This one question lead me to acknowledge my feelings and the way I'd been thinking about the issue.  It lead to clarity, which leads to focus, and it let me see that I needed to "re-energise."

In short, it highlighted the benefits of a good coach, someone who can listen empathically and cut to the core of an issue with an incisive question.  A question that you would never normally ask yourself in those circumstances.

I'm so pleased and privileged that I can provide this same benefit to clients in my role as a Leadership/Management Coach.

Work/Life Balance for Small Business Leaders

I've just been reflecting on the last few weeks and how easy it is to get complacent about work/life balance until life reminds you how important it is!  Of course I'm talking about it's importance to me personally, although I know I'm not alone!

For me, figuring out the right balance was one of the catalysts for starting my coaching business - to help others not make the same mistakes I made, to lose sight of their priorities and live an unbalanced life that leads to fatigue, stress, unhappiness, or worse.

I've been extremely busy over the last month, and if you'd asked me why last week, I'd have said it was mainly as a result of having to sort out a major issue with a supplier.  What I've realised is that actaually this is not true at all!

What's actually been happening is that I've focused so much energy on this issue, in terms of negative thoughts and feelings, that I've been wasting a lot of time over the last month.  I've been busy working, but have been almost totally ineffective!!

As I write this I can see that that's not wholly true and that I'm being a little hard on myself because I have generally still managed to be fully present for my coaching clients.  However, I can also see that it's had a much bigger effect on my work/life balance than the issue warrants.

As I've stepped back from the situation, I can see that it's the emotional attachment I've had to the issue that's been the biggest problem.  By that I mean it's consumed my thoughts and feelings to the detriment of almost everything else.....

Because of this I've stopped my usual fitness regime; I've "worked" longer hours; had less sleep; had less fun; and spent more time on my own and less with my family.  This has resulted in me feeling more tired and stressed, sleeping less well and eating more unhealthily!

As I always tell my clients, awareness is the first step to doing something about the situation, and boy am I aware now!  So.....  I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend with family and friends in the Lake District and to a few special nights out with my husband and friends over the next week.  I'm also going swimming on Friday, as the start to getting back into healthy habits.

And of course, this has been another great learning experience, as I strive to lead the life I want, run a successful business and be happy!!!

Can Leaders who make Mistakes still Succeed?

If you’re like the majority of people, then you probably don’t like making mistakes. But, unless you’re prepared to make them, and make them more often, then you probably won’t succeed; at least not in the way you really want to! 

Most of us need to change the way we think about mistakes. It’s our dislike of them, our embarrassment of making them, feeling like we’re letting ourselves and others down, that’s what makes us scared of making them, and scared of failing. 

We need to accept that nobody succeeds at everything immediately; that sometimes we win and sometimes we fail; that failing’s okay if we learn from it for next time. That actually trying and failing at something new or different might very well be the best way for us to learn. It will certainly be better than not having tried in the first place, because it takes us somewhere new. 

So if, like the greatest inventors and most successful business people of our time, we can view making mistakes as a process of ‘trial, error and learning,’ then we’re much more likely to take huge strides forward and really accept that “the more we fail, the more we succeed!” 

Understanding and accepting this as a leader or manager can be truly liberating!

Obviously there will be times when the potential risks of failing will be too big to try; however, there'll be plenty of other times when the potential benefits will be well worth the risk - even the benefits of learning from your mistakes!

Once you become more accustomed to viewing mistakes differently, then you can help your staff do the same and engender an action oriented culture that values learning.

 

Children as Role Models for Leaders?

Children can be very good teachers of leaderly behaviour on occasions!

For instance, at Easter we met up with my niece and nephew and their parents.  My niece (aged 6) demonstrated very specific communication skills, and was extremely persistent, when requesting more chocolate! 

Two excellent qualities of leadership, I’m sure you’ll agree, provided persistence is channelled wisely! 

However, leaders need to be able to adapt, in terms of behaviour and language, according to the situation, particularly when realising that their approach is not producing the desired result. This was not possible for my niece as she doesn’t have the maturity to do this effectively yet, so resorted to crying and whining!

However, given time, and based on modelling the behaviour of her parents, I’m sure she’ll learn the skill of negotiation, just as well as my two teenage children seem to be doing at the moment!

Success - What does it Mean to You?

I've just read yesterdays post where I ended by talking about success, and thought it might be useful to explore this concept a little..

One of the things I try to do in my Leadership Coaching Programmes is to get you to explore the idea of success.  What does it mean to you?  Not what you think it means, or what society generally holds up as its idea of success.  Not even what your peers, your friends or partner think of success!  But rather what success looks like, feels like, and sounds like to you.

Until you've really considered this in terms of what would make you happiest and feel most fulfilled in life, you'll always be striving for someone else's version of success...

Consider this - who was more successful?  Mother Theresa, who had very few worldly possessions?  Or Bill Gates, the multi billionaire?

Viewed in the sense of success being the realisation of your personal goals (based on your knowledge or feelings of what would make you feel most successful) then quite obviously, both are successful.  But viewed from the current norm of success meaning lots of money, and the visible signs of your wealth, then you would arrive at a completely different conclusion.

Remember, it's your life, and only you can determine and then reach for success on your own terms.

Good Luck!

Influencing Others

I've just read a short piece summarising the presentation given by Robin Sieger, Success Strategist,  at the CIPD (Chartered Institute of Personnal & Development) Scottish conference recently. 

He talked of influencing not being just a matter of words and actions, but about how you make people feel.

He challenged delegates to think about one of their school teachers and remember what they said or did....

I've just done this and my History teacher immediately sprang to mind - I can't really remember her actual words or specific actions, but what I did capture so well was her presence.

She was always extrememly animated and passionate about her subject and the pupils she was teaching, and certainly succeeded in making me feel totally involved in the life and times of the people we were studying.

She made history alive, real and highly relevant to me.  She captivated my interest and made me feel connected, important, special, even privileged.

What a great lesson that is to the way we should think about "winning friends and influencing people" for those of us in leadership positions; whether we're parents, managers or leaders of a social group .  The way we influence best is by making the other person feel special, good, happy, enthused or inspired.

So, maybe we shouldn't be focusing so much on what we want to say or do, bur rather on how we want people to feel.  That way we might have a much better chance of success!

Leaders as Passionate Learners?

I believe the best leaders all have an inner passion and desire to be the best they can be in whatever they do. They know that they can learn from everyone and every situation if their minds are open to the possibility.

They continue to grow as people and as leaders, and they are true advocates of personal and professional development. 

They know that those who actively seek out new experiences and those who take action and learn from their mistakes, are more likely to be successful than those who prefer to stay within their comfort zone, and protect what they have and where they’ve got to! 

They value their journey as much as or more than their ultimate destination.

Leaders have an Aptitude for People

Being a “people” person is a prerequisite to being an exceptional leader.

Leaders who “like” people, are genuinely interested in individuals and teams, and find it easy to build relationships with people at all levels and in all situations, will always shine.

They are the ones people are drawn to, that they will talk to; the ones they will follow because they feel respected as individuals and enthusiastic about where you’re leading them.

How you feel about and around people shows, in your conversations and in your actions; people pick up on this and respond accordingly. 

If your belief and self esteem are high, then you’re likely to have a greater belief in the potential of everyone, which can be a great motivator for teams and individuals.

 

Leaders Create Supportive Environments

I read somewhere that if you have a pet fish that’s sick you treat the water not the fish….What’s that got to do with me and my environment you might ask? Well, maybe a lot…

Your success depends to a significant degree on your environment, so in that respect you’re just like the fish! Therefore it’s extremely important that you create a supportive environment for yourself.

You’ll notice I said that you “create” it for yourself, rather than it just automatically “being there.” Because we might be doing a lot of the right things, but still not be succeeding, as a result of the environment we’re operating in.

You need to pay attention to your environment now and check out whether it’s supporting you or hindering you. By environment I mean your physical, emotional and your intellectual environment.

Is your work place, your office or your home somewhere you love to be? If not what can you do about it?

Do you have supportive family, friends and work colleagues? If not what do you need? Start asking for it!

Are you feeding your brain protein every day, or just sweets or candy? Are you being stimulated or are you stuck in your comfort zone? What can you learn, think about or plan today that will stimulate your brain?

Remember, you need to create an environment that supports you; an environment that supports you at the level you want to be, rather than at the level you are now!

Gain Momentum to Succeed

What do you think of when you hear the word momentum? I think of movement, motion, action, progress. In fact the dictionary definition of momentum is "impetus gained by movement."

I believe that one of the biggest things missing in many people's lives today is momentum - that impetus you need to keep moving forward. Once you gain momentum, continued movement becomes easier. But it doesn't happen all by itself, and it doesn't happen overnight!

It needs you to start taking actions, to take the small steps that put you in motion. These small steps initially lead to small gains; but these small gains in turn eventually lead to bigger gains, because you're using the power of momentum.

So, where do you need to gain momentum? And what's stopping you? In the words of one of my mentors - "You don't have to get it right, you just have to get it going!"

Gain momentum and watch your life, your leadership role, your business, even your world change.